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Kevin Hart

The only time you should look back in life, is to see how far you have come.
Kevin Hart life
The day Rick Ross dives into the crowd, is the day we find out who his true fans are.
Kevin Hart true
You see, the way my bank account is set up...
Kevin Hart you
Relationships nowadays = First week: I love you baby.. Second week: Together forever.. Third week: Single..
Kevin Hart love
Somebody come here and look at this...look at this...God damn cat drinking milk out the bowl. GET OUT THE BOWL!
Kevin Hart god
Fuck you and these ugly ass kids!
Kevin Hart you
Mggadfmadamgadmgamgama juice! Who the fuck you think you talking to?!?!
Kevin Hart you
The top of my mouth is hot...hot pockets!
Kevin Hart
Theres no such thing as a bad idea to a coke-head. Everything is the shit. Thats why coke-head always dance. You ever notice that? No matter what you say to a coke-head.all coke-heads hula-hoop, I dont know why.
Kevin Hart you
Put your dick on the counter so I can suck it.
Kevin Hart you
Bitch, we are at 7/11!
Kevin Hart
You know what a long dick look like? YOU GON LEARN TODAY!
Kevin Hart you
This aint a penis, this a LONG DICK!
Kevin Hart
Pineapples! I wanna go home.
Kevin Hart home
Spell Long Dick; L...O...Dick. Alright alright alright!
Kevin Hart right
The sound of the headboard, thats motivation.
Kevin Hart motivation
Oh my god noooooo...
Kevin Hart god
When I left, I took all the backs to her earrings, yeah I dont want the earrings I just want the backs. You could put them on but youre gonna f*cking lose them without the backs. I suggest you buy a pack of pencils and get it poppin with those f*cking erasers b*tch!
Kevin Hart you
I didnt play sports, I was in spelling bees.
Kevin Hart sports
Alright alright alrightttt, you gon learn today.
Kevin Hart you
Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard... things could get messy real fast.
Kevin Hart relationships
I DONT have EXs! I have Ys. Like Y the hell did I date you?!
Kevin Hart hell
Get off Facebook while in church.
Kevin Hart book
Sex is great for stress
Kevin Hart sex
I just got punked by a homeless man, he asked me 4 some $ so I gave him $5..this bitch had the nerve 2 say WTF am I suppose 2 do wit this I then said Get sumthin 2 eat he then said I dont want 2 eat no fucking fast food shit, that shit will have me shitting on the streets
Kevin Hart food
No, rats are out side, mice are inside.
Kevin Hart
I aint seen no mouse outside. Thats what Im sayin
Kevin Hart
Damn! You mighta just made fact. Thats some real shit right there! A-Ha!
Kevin Hart you
No, no, no, I come free with a vente latte!
Kevin Hart free
Im gonna tell you what. Im gonna tell you what Im gonna do. You know Luca Perry from 20th and 25th?
Kevin Hart you
Im also gonna need the extended warranty on it for the price of... on the house. Hmm?
Kevin Hart war
Hey, is this your boy?
Kevin Hart you
Ay man get money, birdman, bddahhhh!
Kevin Hart money
Flip that ! Bust that!
Kevin Hart
So Im at the office, I tell this guy...Pass me the stapler, but when you pass it, make sure staples are in it, because if it isnt, I cant staple anything.
Kevin Hart you
You just got fucked up with him. Both yall niggas gonna get clapped up when I get back.
Kevin Hart ya
Both yall niggas!
Kevin Hart ya
It dont fucking matter!
Kevin Hart
Now, dont be a negro, be my nigga. Help me out.
Kevin Hart help
Well, you somebodys nigga, wearin this nigga tie.
Kevin Hart body
Well, aight, check this out, dawg. First of all, you throwin too many big words at me, and because I dont understand them, Im gonna take em as disrespect. Watch your mouth and help me with the sale.
Kevin Hart words
How the hell do you wake up dead?
Kevin Hart hell
So youre telling me you can go to bed dead and wake up alive?
Kevin Hart live
No it wouldnt cause you can go to bed and not be dead, and you can die and not be in the bed.
Kevin Hart you
Damn! thats some quantum shit right there man! You should be teaching classes!
Kevin Hart man
I just wanna eat some peanuts...See? Peanuts.
Kevin Hart
Yo, dont joke about zombies. That shit there - thats real.
Kevin Hart zombies
What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you turn up missing?
Kevin Hart sin
So you telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time.
Kevin Hart time
Mmm. No, no. But you cant be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. So when you turn up, youre never missing. And when youre missing, you never turn up.
Kevin Hart sin

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