Dane Cook

My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now. ➡

I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching. ➡

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you. ➡

I grew up very self-loathing. I was a phobic. I had anxiety. I had panic attacks. ➡

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak. ➡

I'm a late-night guy. ➡

I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations. ➡

I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing. ➡

I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such. ➡

Anger has a way of seeping into every other emotion and planting itself in there. ➡

I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?' ➡

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny. ➡

If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. They're very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you. ➡

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous. ➡

I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh. ➡

I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people. ➡

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up. ➡

Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince. ➡

My mother had a lot of phobias. She's pregnant with me and she was a very phobic person. So I was born into phobia, basically. ➡

We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments. ➡

I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias. ➡

I'm glad that my parents missed one thing that was really unbelievable. They saw me hit this great success. It was a blast and we had a lot of laughs. And it was just an amazing time. They passed away. And then after I got, you know, famous, all these haters came out of nowhere. ➡

I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology. ➡

My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare. ➡

I did stand-up comedy for seventeen years. I need to explore other things. ➡

My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. Hes in jail now. ➡