Forgetting Sarah Marshall

She got me this, okay, because I would always leave my cereal boxes open, and the cereal would get stale. And so one day I came home and she had this waiting for me, because it keeps my cereal fresh, and now I have the FRESHEST cereal.

Peter Bretter: I know whats happening here- I really do. Youve been working so much lately, that we havent got to spend much time together and- youre forgetting what its like to be with me. But- maybe if we just held each other or something- you would remember what its like to be with me.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall time

Peter Bretter: Please hold me. Sarah hesitates please. he comes over to her and hugs her, still naked. Sarah hugs him back reluctantly

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Sarah Marshall: Theres someone else. Peter pulls away from her and looks at her in shock Im sorry. she walks out in tears

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall tears

Brian Bretter: observing the club Peter brought him to, distastefully We dont hang out in places like this, Liz and I. Whyd you take me here? This place smells like strippers perfume. Im gonna get herpes just from sitting on this couch!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Peter Bretter: after watching a commercial featuring Sarah on his flight to Hawaii Excuse me? stewardess comes over Hi- could I have another Bloody Mary, please?

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall war

Peter Bretter: Im checking in. My names Bretter- Peter Bretter- but actually, I dont have a reservation. Just thought Id take my chances. smiles weakly

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall thought

Rachel Jansen: Oh! raises her eyebrows Wow- bold! she looks through the registrar We are all booked up, but we do have the Kapua Suite available.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall book

Peter Bretter: I can imagine thats a little bit out of my price range. Sorry. he looks around Thats a shame- this is such a beautiful- he jumps as he looks out the window and sees Sarah walking by outside in her bikini- hotel.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall beautiful

Rachel Jansen: follows his gaze Oh, yeah, its Sarah Marshall from Crime Scene. laughs People are excited that shes here.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall people

Peter Bretter: Its totally fine- looks over his shoulder and sees Sarah entering the lobby Okay, there she is. He turns back to the desk; Sarah notices him Did she see me?

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Rachel Jansen: Fair enough- why dont you try unbuttoning it?Peter opens the top two buttons of the shirt and looks at her for approval Button it back up. as he does so, Sarah comes up to the desk and he turns to face her.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Peter Brenner: I have been having a tough time, you know, back in L.A.- uh- but then, I came here, and here you are. I just think thats too crazy to-

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall time

Aldous Snow: enters the lobby Hey there, little sex object! slaps Sarahs rear and kisses her forehead, catching her off-guard Ive lost a shoe holds up a black flip-flop Have you seen it anywhere? doesnt notice Peter staring at him, or Sarah staring at Peter Its like this one, but obviously its- um- opposite of-um, excuse me, Misses? to Rachel Ive lost a shoe- its like this one- its like, this ones fellow- sort of like the exact opposite of this one, in fact-

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall sex

Aldous Snow: Not like, an evil version, but just, you know- a shoe, like this, but for the other foot, otherwise Id have to-

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall evil

Aldous Snow: Hey! Alright, Peter! Nice to meet you, mate. shakes hands with Peter and shoulder-bumps him Aldous- good to meet you, man. Peter nods, looking irritated

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall man

Rachel Jansen: Im sorry- excuse me, Mr. Bretter, Ms. Marshall- to Peter But, we were, um, able to book the Kapua suite for you, sir, for four nights. Surprised, Peter looks back at Aldous and Sarah- Aldous looks equally surprised, Sarah looks shocked and angry

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall book

Aldous Snow: Perfect! Perfect amount of time. Listen, if you want to have dinner with us one of those nights, youre very-

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall time

Peter Bretter: No. No, thats very gentlemanly of you, but, uh, you two enjoy your trip, and, uh, Ill be just fine on my own with a gesture of superiority in my Kapua Suite.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall joy

Aldous Snow: I like your shirt- its colorful. he and Sarah walk away Bye, ta-ta! to Sarah I was wearing two shoes this morning, wasnt I?

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Peter Bretter: Bye, now.swallows, turns back to Rachel Thank you. Thank you for bailing me out like that, but I still cant afford that room.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Rachel Jansen: Nobody can- its for, like, Oprah, or like, Celine Dion. Really, its not a big deal. So, you can stay in the suite, but since youre not technically a guest, you have to clean up after yourself. hands him a key Otherwise, here is your room key, and enjoy your stay! smiles; a bellhop notices what shes doing an grins to himself

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall joy

Rachel Jansen: pause, glances in the direction Sarah and Aldous took Shes here with some guy, already? Kind of messed up.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall read

Peter Bretter: on the phone with Brian as he sneaks across the hotel grounds behind Sarah and Aldous This is a disaster!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall wit

Peter Bretter: Of course there are other hotels- but Im not leaving here, itll look like Im running away!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall running

Aldous Snow: I had a girlfriend, right? And, um, Liam and Noel Gallagher both had it off with her, right in front of me, so thatssimilar. Sarah makes a disgusted noise And that was a bit awkward, actually. So, if you do wanna change hotels, Id quite understand.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall war

Peter Bretter: sees Sarah and Aldous making out Oh, God! Okay, there they are! There they are, I see them!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall god

Brian Bretter: Go back to your room, Peter. Peter, go back to your room. Go back to your room, Peter.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Brian Bretter: Go back to your room, Peter. Are you listening to me? Peter-Peter- Peter! Hey!- Peter cuts him off and pretends to wander into Aldous and Sarahs yard

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall ya

Peter Bretter: That hurt, a lot. But, I know Sarah, and Im pretty sure I just ruined her day. followed by a brief montage of Sarah having wild sex with Aldous, proving her day has not been ruined at all

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall sex

Rachel Jansen: Hey- whats going on up there? Im getting complaints about a woman, crying hysterically?

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall man

Peter Bretter: Yeah, you know what, and I hear her too, and it sounds like shes having such a hard time. his voice begins to break again I think its coming from the floor above me-

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall time

Matthew Van Der Wyk: into the phone, deadpan Well, I would love to sell you some weed, Jeremy, but Im at my fucking job right now. Obviously, because you called me at work, you know that Im at my place of work. So, I cant just leave here and sell you some weed- I can sell you some weed when Im done. notices Peter approaching Hold on, I gotta call you back. Mahalo, all right! hangs up Hey, hows it going?

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall love

Matthew Van Der Wyk: Man, that sucks. Okay, so just one! Heres your wine list and your menu. Come on. leads him to his table Do you want. like, a magazine or something? Its gonna be boring if youre just sitting all by yourself.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall men

Aldous Snow: If I have just one sip of wine, by the end of the evening Ill be, like, rimming waiters for their tips, just to get me hands on a rock. You know what I mean? Nasty Sarah laughs nervously

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Matthew Van Der Wyk: not realizing that Aldous was criticizing the food negatively It is mundane. Its great, I know.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall food

Peter Bretter: drunk at the bar, talking to Dwayne and Darald Maybe its a good thing theyre here. You know what I mean? Maybe this is a- a challenge from God to forget her! You know? Dwayne looks very exasperated

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall god

Darald Braden: also drunk Or maybe its a sign from God that you should be with her! I love her show- when they mix the sexuality and the violence, I like it.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall love

Dwayne: Oh, its that easy, I promise you, it is. I lived in South Central. South Central- and I hated it. Thats why I moved to Oahu- now, I can name you over 200 different kinds of fish.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall hate

Darald Braden: Not awesome. Shes complicated- like The Da Vinci Code, you know, but- harder to crack. Peter and Rachel grin at each other bemusedly But life is full of lessons, you learn something new every day, so pause wonder what Im going to learn tomorrow? pause Well! stands up to go Good night!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall life

Darald Braden: as he is leaving Off to find the mythical clitoris! Rachel raises her eyebrows at this remark

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall myth

Rachel Jansen: So! Peter snickers into his drink Peter, were you able to get that crying lady out of your room? Cause, I could send someone up, if you want.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Peter Bretter: chuckles Thats very sweet of you- thats very sweet of you to say. Rachel chuckles You dont have to say that, though- its not music. Theres no melody, its just tones. Just dark, ominous tones. mimics a line from the show The Masturbating Dog-Killer is on the loose again! Hell kill the owner, but at least the dogs are happy! imitates one of his tones and he and Rachel both laugh

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall music

Kunu: Oh man, you know, they wont change that flyer. Thats my mainland name. My Hawaiian name is Kunu!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall change

Brian Bretter: smirking What member of The Brat Pack are you? You look like one of those guys suspected of killing JFK.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Brian Bretter: glances in her direction, then back You need to get out there and make some friends, man.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall friends

Brian Bretter: No, I swear on my mothers grave, it- Liz leans into view and waves hello over Brians shoulder Okay, it was Liz. She wasnt here the entire time- Go out and meet people! We meet people all the time-

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall time

Peter Bretter: There is this girl at the front desk whos pretty cute. Liz makes a sound of approval, Brian makes a sound of disgust

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall cute

Brian Bretter: Oh, yeah- you know what? Go and have another dirty one-night stand- that worked out so well before.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall work

Brian Bretter: Hes had plenty of chances for rebounds! This isnt- Peter covers his face in exasperation

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall chance

Brian Bretter: instantly backing down Okay Im sorry. turns back to Peter Were on the same team- sorry. he and Liz do a mini-high-five

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall tea

Aldous Snow: To Peter and Sarah, as Matthew and other fans pressure him to come up to the stage and sing Duty calls, and all that. Im tryin to be incognito, its weird- its like work to me, this is no fun! to the audience Hey- thank you! goes up to the stage, lets Matthew hug him, then fends him off by offering him a pair of his sunglasses Thank you! What a lovely introduction- what an eccentric and confident young man!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall love

Kemo: as he and Peter are carrying the pig they just slaughtered to the luau, he notices Peter is crying You can stop crying now- hes dead already.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Peter Bretter: Really? Cause you look like a gigantic baby. realizes he said something offensive Im sorry, I didnt mean that at all Kemo chuckles

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Peter Bretter: pause Its.. great, you know? People are great- its great to have a steady paycheck- its Im very, very lucky-

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall people

Peter Bretter: Because, hes a man, just like everyone else- he just wants to be loved! And, every time he gets close to a human woman, he ends up smothering and killing her- which is a feeling I am familiar with.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall love

Peter Bretter: Rachel, I know his friend- let me handle this! to Gregs friend, who was his waiter Hey, man, you remember me from breakfast?

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall man

Breakfast waiter: Oh, yeah! The cocktail guy! shakes Peters hand, then punches him This aint the breakfast buffet!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Greg: grabbing Peter and threatening to punch him You with my girl, huh? You keepin her warm for me at night, huh?!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall war

Kemo: Hey- what are you doing, here? Greg slaps Kemo in the face, Kemo backhands him to the ground. Greg and his friend both attack Kemo at once, but Kemo easily holds them off

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Rachel Jansen: watching the fight, cheering for Kemo Thats right, just hit him- get what you deserve- Peter physically picks her up and carries her away from the fight

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall fight

Rachel Jansen: smiles Peter, you dont have to dote on me- Im not that type of girl. goes to the bar as Peter reminisces all the times Sarah made him hold her purse and stand in the background at her public events

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall time

Peter Bretter: Do you know that theres- theres a picture of you flashing, hanging in the mens room?

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall men

Rachel Jansen: Yeah. Ugh, I hate it so much. My jackass boyfriend made me do it, and then Keoke over there indicates the muscular bartender took it. I asked him to take it down, but he said it would ruin the balance of the collage.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall art

Peter bretter: referring to Rachels ex-boyfriend Did you see her ex-boyfriend?! I mean, he is ridiculous!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Darald Braden: Lemme just say that, if God was a city planner, he would not put a playground next to a sewage system!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall god

Aldous Snow: Well look, I havent told you I have genital herpes because its not inflamed at the moment.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall men

Rachel Jansen: No, no, no, no, no. If you fall straight down, youll probably hit a rock and kill yourself!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall self

Peter Bretter: to Aldous Snow Fuck, youre cool. Its very difficult to say, because, you know, I hate you in so many ways, but- damn, youre cool.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall hate

Aldous Snow: hastily No, I like it. I didnt like it at first, but now I really think its- notices Peter in the line ahead of them Oh, bloody hell, this is a small resort.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall hell

Sarah Marshall: Hi, Peter. Peter turns around, revealing Rachel standing next to him- they are obviously together

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Matthew Van der Wyk: suddenly panicking Mr. Snow, Im so sorry- I didnt know you guys were coming- Y-Youe going to have to wait five minutes- I did not know you guys were coming-

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Matthew Van der Wyk: Great, Ill just set two more places. he leads them into the restaurant area, Peter and Rachel ahead of Aldous and Sarah

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall great

Aldous Snow: Its got us in a terrible situation! Now Im gonna have to sit with im wearing this shirt all night!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall night

Sarah Marshall: after she, Peter and Rachel have each had a lot of wine So just so were clear, and so that I can kinda hone in on your- your central thesis of the night, wade through all the bullshit- youre telling me you think you have the right to just fuck anyone, anywhere, anytime? Thats what youre saying?

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall time

Aldous Snow: Yes! Thats right, there it is! Not so eloquently as you just put it, sweetheart, but- spills his cranberry juice over the Tommy Bahama shirt Sarah bought him, and doesnt notice Ultimately, that is- notices the spill and laughs Oh, no! Not the shirt! laughing Take my eyes, but not the shirt! Rachel and Peter laugh, Sarah looks disgusted as Aldous wipes off his hand on his mouth Mmm, yeah, thats pretty much what I believe, Sarah.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall art

Aldous Snow: Dyou know what, I think Ive improved it, actually! Against all odds- I think I deserve a design award!

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall war

Aldous Snow: Um, garcon, could we get some- Matthew rushes over and tries vigorously to clean off Aldous shirt, while Aldous tries to fend him off; Rachel laughs

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall end

Aldous: No, its all right, its not there- Youre very diligent, and I appreciate it, but- let go of the glass now, youre gonna have to walk away, bless you. Matthew reluctantly backs off as a waitress brings dessert

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Rachel Jansen: Oh, good! they both laugh; Rachel feeds Peter some of her dessert. Peter makes sounds of appreciation as Sarah watches them unhappily and drinks another glass of wine

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall good

Sarah Marshall: subtly disdainful Yeah, its nice, but I think- for like a week, tops. Any more than that, and I know Id go crazy, because I think that Hawaii is- a place to escape- for people who cant deal with the real world snickers and looks haughtily at Rachel, who glares at her

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall people

Rachel Jansen: pauses, swallows her dessert Yeah- you know, theres so few personal shoppers and pet therapists- gosh, its such a hard life. she feeds Peter another bite of dessert, then grabs his face and kisses him. Eventually Rachel pulls away and smirks at Sarah, who is glaring at her I like living here.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall life

Matthew Van Der Wyk: To Aldous Snow I have a quick question for you, Mr. S. I was actually meaning to ask you- what did you exactly think of my demo? And, did you get it? I mean- did you get it?

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall meaning

Aldous Snow: Oh! No- I was gonna listen to that, but then, um- I just carried on living my life. Matthew looks stunned

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall life

Aldous Snow: No, I didnt- because, you know, I kind of, just- I got my instincts, and clicks his tongue they werent good.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall good

Matthew Van Der Wyk: pause, then lowers his voice to an infuriated whisper You know what, dude?! Fuck you, okay?! You can fuck yourself. I cant yell right now, cause Ill get fired- my boss will hear me, and I wont be able to pay off my student loans Aldous nods understandingly, looking completely bored but you know what? Youre an asshole. I fuckin hate you. I bought all your records- this whole fuckin time Ive been trying to get you to hang out with me- Im gonna have people fuck with your food the rest of your trip! You fuckin dick! storms off

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall time

Sarah, Rachel and Peter: Sarah, having heard Rachel and Peter having sex through the wall, starts having sex with Aldous and faking a loud orgasm; Rachel and Peter realize what shes doing and have even noisier sex, trying to one-up her and vice versa. Finally, Aldous realizes what Sarahs doing and shoves her off.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall art

Aldous Snow: I made a mistake, coming here with you. Next door, Rachel and Peter noisily finish having sex Youre still involved with im next door, int ya?

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall sex

Aldous Snow: You should have seen yourself at dinner, Sarah. Then, we come back here, and you put on that ghastly performance. I mean, Ive heard that women fake orgasms, but Ive never actually seen one- it really, deeply upset me.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall women

Aldous Snow: boredly Thats a really reductive impression. If I wanted to see you act badly, Id just watch your TV show- which, obviously, I cant now, cause its canceled.

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall you

Sarah Marshall: Oh my God, youre such a prick! And, you know what?! rolls over and starts indicating his tattoos Lemme tell you something about these tattoos, okay?! That is Buddhist, that is Nordic, that is Hindu, thats just gibberish- they are completely conflicting ideologies, and that does not make you a citizen of the world, it makes you full of shit! rolls back over

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall god

Aldous Snow: pause, raises an eyebrow Was that genuine, or did you fake that as well? Sarah looks furious Right, Im gonna probably clear off, now. Ill have a little sleep for a couple of hours, but then, uh, Im gonna probably go in the morning, okay?

— Forgetting Sarah Marshall sleep

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