The Parent Trap 1998

Hallie: You wanna know the *real* difference between us?Annie: Let me see... I know how to fence and you dont. Or, I have class and you dont. Take your pick.Hallie: [infuriated] Why, I oughta...!

Nick Parker: Whats going on?Meredith Blake: Heres whats going on, buddy: the day we get married is the day I ship those brats off to Switzerland, get the picture? Its me, or them. Take your pick.Nick Parker: Them.[Hallie and Annie stare at each other excitedly]Meredith Blake: Excuse me?Nick Parker: T-H-E-M. Them.[staring into Merediths face]Nick Parker: Get the picture?

— The Parent Trap 1998 you

Annie: That girl is without a doubt, the lowest, most awful creature to ever walk the planet!Hallie: [watching from outside, impersonating Elvis] Thank you, thank you very much.

— The Parent Trap 1998 doubt

Annie: [Hallie is getting ready to cut Annies hair] Dont shut YOUR eyes!Hallie: Okay, sorry. Got a little nervous!Annie: YOURE nervous? An 11 year-old is cutting my hair!Hallie: Hey, you sounded just like me!Annie: Well, Im supposed to, arent I?

— The Parent Trap 1998 you

Nick Parker: I told Hallie.Meredith Blake: You did? And?Nick Parker: She went ballistic. She started yelling in French. I didnt even know she spoke French.

— The Parent Trap 1998 art

Annie: [Hallie just finished cutting Annies hair to look like hers] This is so scary.Hallie: Honey, you never looked better.

— The Parent Trap 1998 you

Hallie as Annie: [crying, seeing her mother for the first time] Im sorry, its just Ive missed you so much.Elizabeth James: I know, it seems like its been forever.Hallie as Annie: You have no idea.

— The Parent Trap 1998 time

Hallie: [playing poker with Annie at camp] Ill tell you what Im gonna do. Ill make you a little deal: *loser* jumps into the lake after the game.Annie: Excellent.Hallie: Butt naked.Annie: Even more excellent. Start unzipping, Parker.[revealing her hand to Hallie]Annie: Straight, in diamonds.Hallie: Youre good James... but... youre just not good enough.[revealing her hand to Annie]Hallie: In your honor, a royal flush.

— The Parent Trap 1998 art

Hallie: I have a brilliant beyond brilliant idea!

— The Parent Trap 1998 lie

Annie as Hallie: [after a discussion about how Annie as Hallie seems different to Chessy] Chessy, I changed a lot over the summer, thats all.Chessy, the Parkers Maid: OK, but if I didnt know any better, Id say its almost like you were... forget it, its impossible.Annie as Hallie: Almost if I were who, Chessy?Chessy, the Parkers Maid: Nobody, nobody, forget I mentioned it.Annie as Hallie: Almost if I were - Annie?Chessy, the Parkers Maid: [slowly turning around] You know about Annie?Annie as Hallie: [dropping her Hallie accent] I... am Annie.

— The Parent Trap 1998 change

Annie: Need a hand, Mer?Meredith Blake: Not from you, thank you. Dont think I can see past those angelic faces. One more trick from you two, and I promise Ill make your lives miserable from the day I say I do. Got it?Hallie: Got it, Cruella.Meredith Blake: What did you call me?Hallie: Nothing. Nothing. Not a thing, Cruella. Oh, by the way, Mer. I think theres something on your head.[the lizard is on her head]

— The Parent Trap 1998 past

Elizabeth James: [Hallie, as Annie, is underneath Elizabeths covers struggling to tell her about the switch] Annie!Hallie as Annie: Thats where I have to go! I have to go see Annie!Elizabeth James: Oh, I see, and where might Annie be?Hallie as Annie: In Napa, with her father Nick Parker.Elizabeth James: Youre not Annie?Elizabeth James: That would be correct.Elizabeth James: Youre Hallie?Hallie as Annie: I am. Annie and I met up at camp and, and we decided to switch places. Im sorry, but Ive never seen you and Ive dreamt of meeting you my whole life and Annie felt the exact same way about Dad so, so we sort of just switched lives. I hope youre not mad because I love you so much, and I just hope that one day you could love me as me, and not as Annie.Elizabeth James: Oh darling, Ive loved you your whole life.Martin, the James Butler: [sobbing] Ive never been so happy in my entire life.

— The Parent Trap 1998 love

Hallie as Annie: Doesnt designing all these wedding dresses ever make you think about getting married again; or at least make you think about the f word?Elizabeth James: The f word?Hallie as Annie: My father!

— The Parent Trap 1998 you

Hallie: [takes out a box of Oreos] Want one?Annie: Oh, sure, I love Oreos. At home, I eat them with... I eat them with peanut butter.Hallie: You do? That is so weird.[takes out a jar of peanut butter]Hallie: So do I!Annie: Youre kidding! Most people find that totally disgusting.Hallie: I know, I dont get it.Annie: Me either.

— The Parent Trap 1998 love

Grandpa Charles James: [Annie smells him] What are you doing?Hallie as Annie: Making a memory! Years from now, when Im all grown up, Ill always remember my grandfather and how he always smelled of...[smells him again]Hallie as Annie: peppermint and pipe tobacco.

— The Parent Trap 1998 memory

Nick Parker: [about Meredith on the camping trip] Im not marrying her because shes Annie Oakley.Hallie: Whos Annie Oakley?

— The Parent Trap 1998 lie

Vicki Blake - Merediths Mother: Hello, pet! You may call me Aunt Vicki!

— The Parent Trap 1998 hell

Chessy, the Parkers Maid: [under her breath, after the dog has growled and snapped at Meredith] Good doggy.

— The Parent Trap 1998 good

Meredith Blake: Have you seen your father?Hallie: [Not yet aware who Meredith is] You talking to me?Meredith Blake: Who are you, Robert De Niro? Yes, I am talking to you.

— The Parent Trap 1998 war

Elizabeth James: [Martin enters whistling, Elizabeth gasps] Martin! What are you doing?Martin, the James Butler: [only sporting a speedo] Going for a dip, madame, do you mind?Elizabeth James: Uh no no no, that... thats perfectly... perfect. Have fun. Someone ought to.

— The Parent Trap 1998 art

Elizabeth James: One of you, Im not sure which one at the moment, but one of you told me your father knew I was arriving here today. Well Im here to tell you that the man I just saw in the elevator had absolutely no idea he and I were on the same *planet*, let alone in the same hotel.Annie as Hallie: You saw dad already?Elizabeth James: Yes I did now.[flopping onto the couch]Elizabeth James: Oh. The man went completely action like I was the bloody ghost of Christmas past![to both girls]Elizabeth James: Can one of you get something cold for my head?Elizabeth James: [Annie gets up] I mean, dont you think Ive pondered what it was going to be like to see your father after all these years? Well let me tell you, me waving like a mindless idiot while Nick Parkers wrapped around another womans arms is not exactly the scenario I had in mind. No sirree.

— The Parent Trap 1998 mind

[last lines]Hallie: We actually did it!

— The Parent Trap 1998 lie

Meredith Blake: You know, from the way your father talked about you, I expected a little girl, but you are so grown-up.Annie as Hallie: Ill be twelve soon. How old are you?Meredith Blake: [chuckling] Twenty-six.Annie as Hallie: Only fifteen years older than me! How old are you again, Dad?Nick Parker: Wow, suddenly youre so interested in math!

— The Parent Trap 1998 you

Annie: Any of your pictures ruined?Hallie: Only the beautiful Leo DiCaprio...Annie: Who?Hallie: Youve never heard of Leonardo DiCaprio? How far away is London anyway?

— The Parent Trap 1998 beautiful

Nick Parker: [hiking] Im going to take the lead. You two help Meredith.Meredith Blake: [looks at the girls] Sure youll help me. Right over a cliff youll help me.Hallie: [whispering to Annie] Not a bad idea.Annie: Yeah, see any cliffs?

— The Parent Trap 1998 you

Marva Kulp, Sr.: Excuse me, girls. I just got to have a scoop of these gorgeous strawberries. Would you care for some dear?Hallie: Oh, no thanks, cant. I-Im allergic.Marva Kulp, Sr.: Oh, thats too bad. How about you, dear, strawberries?Annie: Oh, sorry, I wish I could, but I cant, I-Im allergic.Marva Kulp, Sr.: Yes, you just told me that over here. Howd you get over there? Well, first day at camp youll have to excuse the old girl.[Annie walks away]Marva Kulp, Sr.: At least Im not putting salt in the sugar shakers. Well, actually sugar in the salt shakers, but... now where did she get off to?

— The Parent Trap 1998 you

Nick Parker: You know, I may never be alone with you again. So about that day you packed, whyd you do it?Elizabeth James: Oh, Nick. We were so young. We both had tempers, we said stupid things so I packed. Got on my very first 747, and you didnt come after me.Nick Parker: I didnt know that you wanted me to.Elizabeth James: Well, that really doesnt matter anymore. So, lets put on a good face for the girls and get the show on the road, huh?Nick Parker: Yeah, sure. Lets get the show on the road.

— The Parent Trap 1998 good

Meredith Blake: First change I make is to send that two-faced little brat off to boarding school in Timbuktu.Richard, Merediths Assistant: Oof, Ice Woman!Meredith Blake: Proud of it, babe!

— The Parent Trap 1998 change

Elizabeth James: [after the limo pulls up to the end of an empty pier and everyone gets out] Where are we?Nick Parker: This is where were eating?Hallie: [Pointing to a 100+ foot yacht] No. Actually, *thats* where were eating.Annie: Shes ours for the night.Nick Parker: Wow. So, how exactly are we paying for this?Annie: Well, we pooled our allowances.Nick Parker: Yeah. Right. Annie?Annie: Okay. Grandfather chipped in a bit.Elizabeth James: Annie!Annie: Okay. He chipped in a lot.

— The Parent Trap 1998 ya

Hallie: Oh my God.Annie: What?Hallie: I have pierced ears.Annie: No, no and no. Not happening. Sorry, wrong number. I wont. I refuse.Hallie: Then cutting your hair was a total waste. Theres no way I can go to camp with pierced ears and come home without them. I mean, come on. Get real.

— The Parent Trap 1998 god

Annie: This is Martin, our butlerHallie: [in shock] We have a butler?

— The Parent Trap 1998 art

Martin, the James Butler: I found a stowaway in your suitcase.[holds up Cuppy]Hallie as Annie: [whispering] Oh my God. Cuppy.

— The Parent Trap 1998 god

[Hallie is trying to convince Annie the proposed switch will work]Hallie: Look, I can do you already.[Hallie pulls her hair back and adopts a British accent]Hallie: Yes, you want to know the real difference between us? I have class and you dont. Come on, Annie. I gotta meet my ma.[arranges her expression into a pout]

— The Parent Trap 1998 work

Elizabeth James: [having drink with Meredith] Heres to... heres to you. May your life be far less complicated than mine.Meredith Blake: Why thank you.

— The Parent Trap 1998 life

Annie: Okay, this is Grandfather...Hallie: Hes so cute! What do we call him?Annie: Grandfather...Hallie: Why didnt I think of that?...

— The Parent Trap 1998 father

Hallie: [seeing Meredith before they leave for their camping trip] Dad, whats Meredith doing here?Nick Parker: Your mother invited her.Annie: What?Nick Parker: Be nice.

— The Parent Trap 1998 mother

Annie: Mum. Daddys getting married.[Elizabeth falls to the couch, stunned]Annie: To Cruella de Vil. Shes awful, Mum. We cant let him go through with it.

— The Parent Trap 1998 wit

Hallie as Annie: [suddenly recognizing her grandfather as the man who had been standing outside the phone booth, and realizing that he has therefore heard everything she was saying to Annie and so knows that something is up] Uh-oohhhh...Grandpa Charles James: [in a slightly stern but kindly tone, and with an obvious amused twinkle] Uh-oh is right. Now suppose you and I just take a little stroll in the park, young lady, and you can tell me awl-l-l-l-l about it?Hallie as Annie: [in a resigned but slightly hopeful voice, feeling encouraged that her grampa didnt get mad right off] Okay.

— The Parent Trap 1998 hope

Chessy, the Parkers Maid: [upon seeing Elizabeth after so many years] Hi, you probably dont remember me. I...Elizabeth James: [gives her a kiss on the cheek] Chessy!Chessy, the Parkers Maid: I knew I always liked her.

— The Parent Trap 1998 man

Chessy, the Parkers Maid: [seeing Martin for the first time, dazed] HelloMartin, the James Butler: [French music plays] Hello... hello to youElizabeth James: Chessy, this is our butler, Martin.Chessy, the Parkers Maid: How do you do?[pointing at Hallie]Chessy, the Parkers Maid: Im her butler.Martin, the James Butler: Enchanté mademoiselle[kisses her hand]Chessy, the Parkers Maid: Gee, the pleasures all mine monsieur.

— The Parent Trap 1998 time

Hallie as Annie: His and hers kids. No offense, Mom, but this arrangement really sucks.Elizabeth James: I agree, it totally sucks.

— The Parent Trap 1998 men

Annie: [Elizabeth and Hallie have arrived at the hotel to meet Nick and Elizabeth is drunk and Annie see her] Shes drunk! Shes never had more than one glass of wine her entire life and she chooses today to show up totally zonked!

— The Parent Trap 1998 life

Elizabeth James: [walking down the hall in the hotel] Hallie Parker![both girls exit from rooms across the hall from each other]Elizabeth James: Oh, dont do this to me. Im already seeing double.

— The Parent Trap 1998 girls

Annie as Hallie: I know what mystery my father sees in you.Meredith Blake: You do?Annie as Hallie: Youre young, beautiful, sexy, and hey, the guy is only human, but if you ask me marriage is supposed to be based on something more than just sex, right?

— The Parent Trap 1998 marriage

Martin, the James Butler: Shall we review your mothers list?Annie: Mm-hmm.Martin, the James Butler: Now, lets see. Vitamins?Annie: Check.Martin, the James Butler: Minerals?Annie: Check.Martin, the James Butler: List of daily fruits and vegetables?Annie: Check, check.[Martin glances at Annie]Annie: Check for fruits, check for vegetables. Go on.Martin, the James Butler: Sunblock, lip balm, insect repellent, stationery, stamps, photographs of your mother, grandfather, and of course, your trusty butler, me.Annie: Got it all, I think.Martin, the James Butler: Oh, and heres a little something from your grandfather.[Holds up a deck of cards]Martin, the James Butler: Spanking new deck of cards. Maybe youll actually find someone on this continent who can whip your tush at poker.Annie: Well, I doubt it, but thanks, Martin.

— The Parent Trap 1998 art

Nick Parker: You know, sometime if were ever really alone maybe we could talk about what happened between us. You know its all a bit hazy to me now. It ended so fast.Elizabeth James: You mean it started so fast.Nick Parker: Well, that part I remember perfectly.

— The Parent Trap 1998 time

Zoe: [as the girls walk back to their cabin, Hallie is riding on Nicoles back] I swear, I heard that girl sneezing all the way across the mess hall this morning.Hallie: [laughs, and then lets out a yawn] Im so tired. Im crawling back into bed, and sleeping until lunchtime.Nicole: [lets Hallie off her back and stares in shock] That is not a possibility, babe.Hallie: [shrugs] Why not?Nicole: [pointing] Thats why not!Hallie: [looks in the direction that Nicole is pointing, and sees their cots are perched on the roof, as Hail Brittania plays] No way!

— The Parent Trap 1998 time

Nick Parker: [after explaining to Elizabeth why they returned early from the camping trip] So, wheres Chessie? Im starving.Elizabeth James: Well, she and Martin went off to a picnic around noon. Yesterday.Nick Parker: [Impersonating Cary Grant] Really. Who would have thought. My nanny, your butler.

— The Parent Trap 1998 art

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